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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Yet another complaint

I normally dislike most of the general public, but driving really brings out the worst in me. The above poorly-executed illustration is of the very busy intersection of Bardstown Road and Grinstead Drive, a route I take on a fairly regular basis. If I could avoid it, I would because I almost always end up with a significant rise in blood pressure after passing through.

Picture it...I am the silver car coming up the street toward the Bardstown Road intersection. The light is red, and there is a red car sitting at the light. If the red car had on a turn signal, I would switch lanes so I could go around because as you can see, the orange, green, and blue cars are going to prevent red car from turning any time soon. As the red car does not have on a turn signal, however, I stay in my current lane because otherwise, once the light turns green I will come up too fast on the parked black cars and get blocked in by red car. Do you follow me so far? Very good.

Now, like I said, since red car does not have on a turn signal, I stay in my lane. However, red car is driven by an inconsiderate clod sent to this planet just to drive me insane. The light turns green, and rather than going forward, red car TURNS ON HIS F*&KING SIGNAL!!!!! As cars are whipping by me on my right, I can't get around red car, so I sit there and wait for red car to be able to turn against oncoming traffic, which he finally does just before the light turns red.

DAMN YOU, RED CAR! You should be thankful I no longer allow my daughter Whitney to carry a gun because I assure you she would have no problem popping a cap in your ass! As it is, she has a message for you.

All of this is really just proof that I should be chauffered. I think we'd all be a bit safer, and I wouldn't have Whitney getting into drive-by cursing matches.


Ms. Val said...

Christopher, the scenario you described is played out every day around here. That's why I refer to the streets of Phoenix as the tool box--because every other driver is a TOOL!

Yesterday, I was approaching an intersection near home. There were at least 10 other vehicles at or near the corner. No joke, mine was the only one that wasn't a full-sized pickup truck or SUV. The Toyota Sequoia is definately the official vehicle of North Peoria. I should point out that the only family in the neighborhood that has only passenger cars.

Lastly, I really need send Luke--my little 8 year old--to Louisville to school you on how to use MS Paint!

Christopher said...

Val, the worst part of that is, I didn't use paint except to save the graphic...I drew it in Excel. I'm hopeless with graphics, and keep hoping my friend graphic designer pal Daniel will take pity on my lack of design ability and redo Trading Faces for me. In lieu of that, Luke is more than welcome to do a redesign for me...he certainly can't do any worse than I have done myself!

JonboySF said...

Driving in San Francisco is infuriating so I empathize. That post was worth it just to hear Whitney scream, "KISS MY ASS!" LOL