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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Saving All My Love For Who?!

Is the world's #1 terrorist really in love with my daughter? According to his former sex slave, Sudanese writer Kola Boof, he is. Here's the scoop from The New York Post:

Boof says bin Laden couldn't stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

But bin Laden's murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar. "[He would say] how beautiful she is," Boof claims, "what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.

You know, there are days when I'm sick of hearing Whitney's name too, but that is the price of being a parent, I suppose. Trading Faces pal Sister Mary Cliff asked me how I could allow all this to happen, but I want to assure everyone that Whitney is not dating this evil man. She was grounded at the time of his obsession, and I took away her Blackberry so he'd stop texting her. Suffice it to say, there will be no radical Islamic terrorist leaders having Sunday dinner at my house any time soon. I am sad to report, however, that she IS still dating this evil man:

Damn you, Osama bin Laden! You're Satan's hemorrhoid, but all that talk about putting a hit out on Bobby got me thinking happy thoughts about you for a moment!

Photo from Defamer


Ces said...


P.S. My word verifcation sounds like "idle sobs". I love reading these word verifications. The one I get on your blog are very interesting, sometimes "dirty". I feel like washing my mouth with soap.

Christopher said...

Gee, I wonder why I never get the dirty ones? I'm kinda jealous!