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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Modest Complaint

I'm actually quite enjoying school so far. After making it through two days of classes and even opening my mouth in class twice without inserting my foot either time, I can say this is pretty stimulating and exactly what I needed in my life. That said, I have some issues. After all, I wouldn't want to bore you all with a non-bitter Christopher.

  1. There are no Coke vending machines on campus. Diet Pepsi tastes like malted battery acid, but I got desperate and had one since the coffee vending machine stole my change today and gave me lukewarm dirty water in return.
  2. The men’s room in the basement student lounge where I like to study (because it is ice cold, and is so creepy that others seem to avoid it) usually smells like urine. Today I used it shortly after it was cleaned. The good news is, it didn’t smell of urine. It did, however, smell of vomit.
  3. My locker is too small to hold the roll-y bag I use for my laptop and such. I feel like a stewardess for an imaginary airline when I'm in the halls.
  4. I’m old enough and have a bad enough back to need a roll-y bag for my laptop while all the cool kids are using padded backpacks. Suffice it to say that the first person here who “sir”s me is gonna get slapped.
  5. I got up at 5a.m. this morning to brief two cases for my class in contracts because evidently I do not have good time management skills.
Please note, however, that the two people beside me in contracts asked if I understood the cases because they didn't have a clue. I said that I had trouble with them, but the truth is, I totally got what the prof wanted...score for the old dude!


dr buck said...

Yeah, Chris! You show those young whipper-snappers. You know they think you understand everything because you are a whole decade older than them, but who cares. They suck. However, the rolly-thing is like a neon sign pulsating with, "I'm older, smarter, and have lower back pain." Just kidding. You rock.

Ces said...

LOL about the stewardess line. I'm with you on the relief from back strain. Good luck with school. Now you show 'em whose the smart one.

Ms. Val said...

Welcome to my life, Christopher!!!! When I returned to school a few years ago, the younger students sought me out for help quite often. I was the one they came to when they needed to borrow aspirin, a stapler, pens, or paper. Yes, some students come to class without PAPER!

In Sociology, the whole course was group work and I was matched up with idiots: a jock, a sleeper, and a guy who had his face pierced in a dozen places. The piercing guy contributed a little bit, but for the most part, I carried them all through the class. After awhile, Q got sick of my bitching about the situation.

Then when I took Rock Music and Culture, the teacher was always saying; "Ok, can someone other than Valerie tell me what year the Beatles came to America?"

Also, I think you should find some place to study other than the pukey-pee dungeon. You don't want that odor to cling to your new Banana pants!

JonboySF said...

What? No Coke? Isn't Kentucky south of the Mason-Dixon line? No self-respecting southerner should be forced to drink Pepsi. What kind of liberal law school do you go to??

Christopher said...

Well, if we were truly southern, I suppose we would be having RC Cola and Moonpies! Perhaps I should try and get used to the Pepsi. After all, it was what Joan Crawford promoted and pretended to drink when she was really drinking vodka.

Nooooo...I'm a hardcore Diet Cokehead, no turning back.

Ces said...

Moonpies! When we were in South Carolina, mu husband bought a Moon Pie t-shirt. My son loves Pepsi. he thinks it tastes better than Coke. I think Pepsi is too sweet.