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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Trend Death Watch: A Public Service from Trading Faces

As an oppressed minority, there are many rights we gay boys don't have. In many parts of the country, we can be fired from our jobs or thrown out of our apartments because of who we are. We don't have the right to get married. But we do, at least the stereotypical ones of us do, have the right to tell you what to wear. We generally create the trends, and here at Trading Faces, we are starting a new occasional series where we will tell you when those trends are officially dead. It is our right, and like good gay Americans, we are exercising it to its fullest extent.

Today's dead trend is the Faux-Hawk. This is the 'do for those who want to appear ever-so-slightly punk without actually going all the way. It is the Avril Lavigne of haircuts. This do is achieved by cutting the hair close on the sides while pushing all the hair on top toward the center into a point. It was a cute look for a few minutes, but today I saw at least three strayt hillbilly-looking guys in really bad outfits rocking faux-hawks. When redneck guys in Louisville, Kentucky find a trend acceptable enough (i.e. doesn't make them look queer) to follow, it is time to move on.

And so it is that the fauxhawk is officially finished. The pedophiles over at Abercrombie & Fitch are just going to have to find some other way to style their Aryan Youth models.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the bossy faggots at Trading Faces.


Ces said...

Yes, I agree. The spike is dead. Can you also pronounce the death of the matted and filthy dreadlocks and what about the muffintops - I still see them!

Brandon said...

How about the art hair? There's nothing more annoying than that shit.

Christopher said...

What would you call art hair, Brandon?