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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Republicans are controlling my iPod

Inspired by one of my new favorite bloggers, The GayProf, I attempted to find right-wing subtext in the music delivered to me by my iPod this afternoon rather than working on the destroyed bathroom. For this game, you put your player on Shuffle, then note the first five songs it spits out and attempt to interpret what those songs might be trying to tell you. Surely my beloved iPod wouldn't give me any crazed conservative messages...Al Gore is on the board of Apple, after all. But sure enough, it seems that the Republican National Committee is sending subliminal messages to lefty progressives such as myself. Here's the proof:

1) "Lover Come Back (12" mix)" by Dead or Alive. Divorce isn't in our plans for you because marriage is sacred, even when it happens in Vegas to someone you barely know. As long as you're a man and a woman, that is.

2) "Outrageous" by Britney Spears. Be warned, young girls, this is how you turn out if you promise Jesus you'll keep your flower until marriage, but then give it away to the first boy band geek who asks for it. K-Fed could be visiting you next.

3) "My Life Is a Succession of People Saying Goodbye" by Morrissey. See how unhappy the gays are? Is this really how you want to live your life?

4) "F*ck the Men (A Toast to Men)" by Willa Ford. I hardly know what to say about this, other than I apologize for my extraordinarily bad taste in music.

5) "Breath of Life" by Erasure, using chirpy disco music to subvert a woman's right to control her own body. Clever strategy, indeed.

My iPod has a bit of a potty mouth too. The next five songs popping up were:
1) "The Bitch Is Back" by Tina Turner
2) "In My Arms" by Mylo
3) "Asian Rut" by Morrissey
4) "Shitlist" by L7
5) "Horny" by Mousse T. vs. Hot'n'Juicy

Republican, demented, and potty-mouthed...I think I may have picked up Bill O'Reilly's iPod by mistake.


3 comments:

Ces said...

Oh I see, another Conspiracy Theory :-D

Christopher said...

When one has an FBI file as a teenager, one tends to get suspicious. Gee, I join the Democratic Socialists for one semester, and suddenly I'm some kind of threat or something! ;-)

Ms. Val said...

Well, I tried it and here's the first 5 songs my iPod gave me:

"How Much I Feel" by Ambrosia
"Hard Luck Woman" by Kiss
"Heard It In a Love Song" by the Marshall Tucker Band
"Talking In Your Sleep" by Crystal Gayle
"Drivin' My Life Away" by Eddie Rabbit

I take this to mean that my iPod perfers songs that start with "H" and 70s country.