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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

How gay is your iPod?

These ten songs came up in a random shuffle of my vast iPod library. So how gay is my iPod?

1. "What She Said" by The Smiths - These Brits produced brilliant and sexually ambiguous 80s jangle pop. Still, mostly about a depressed girl, so not very gay.
2. "Love At First Sight" by Kylie Minogue - It's Kylie automatice 10 out of 10 on the homo scale.
3. "Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth" by the Dandy Warhols - These boys and one girl wear a lot of eyeliner, and the male singer's name is Courtney. Big 'mo David LaChappelle directed the fierce video for this single. Hot song, sorta gay, but only for style purposes. If this song were a college boy, it would be a GAG (gay until graduation).
4. "The Avengers Theme" by John Barry - Smooth and stylish, but very James Bond, and therefore very strayt.
5. "I Want That Man (2000 Mix)" by Deborah Harry - Virtually any dance mix gets a high gay rating.
6. "Driver 8" by REM - Lead singer Michael Stipe actually is gay, but their music...not so much. One of my favorite REM songs, though.
7. "Kiss & Tell" by Bryan Ferry - Mr. Ferry is always good for some smooth loving, and I think appeals to all orientations. I'd call this our bisexual entry.
8. "Glamorous Glue" by Morrissey - Regardless of the song topic, Morrissey is by default more than a little gay, and his glam rock phase amped up the testosterone a bit.
9. "Killer/Papa Was a Rolling Stone" by George Michael - Did anyone ever think he was not gay? Anyone at all?
10. "Brother & Sister" by Erasure - Gayer than a crunchy used towel on the floor of a bathhouse.

Final analysis: not nearly as gay as one might have thought. Only one female dance diva, no large black lady soul singers, and not a single disco song. I do probably need to try and go for a week listening to music not produced in the 80s, just to see if I can.


Ms. Val said...

I wouldn't say my iPod was gay, but, to hear Q say it, it probably should get FDA approval as a prescription-strength sleep aid. Here's my list:

1. "Heard it in a Love Song" by the Marshall Tucker Band
2. "All Out of Love" by Air Supply
3. "Night Boat to Cairo" by Madness
4. "Poor Side of Town" by Johnny Rivers
5. "Green River" by CCR
6. "Turn The Beat Around" by Vicki Sue Robinson
7. "Roseanna" by Toto
8. "Romeo and Juliet" by Love & Kisses
9. "Ode to Billy Joe" by Bobbie Gentry
10. "With a Little Luck" by Wings

And I feel the same way about 70s music that you do about the 80s. I'll bet Luke is the only second grader at his school who can name all the Gibb brothers from oldest to youngest.

Christopher said...

That is because Luke is a prodigy. And can I just say I love me some Vicki Sue Robinson?!

Brandon said...


OK, I'll play (I'm incredibly bored and trying to kill the last half hour of work before four days off!). These are the first ten that come up on random:

1.) Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
2.) MF Doom - Air
3.) Okkervil River - Black Sheep Boy
4.)Alan T. - Tweak It (VERY GAY! Listened to only while doing cardio.)
5.) LaToya Luckett - Torn
6.) Wilco - Jesus, Etc.
7.) The Decemberists - On the Bus Mall
8.) Belle & Sebastian - Dress Up in You
9.) Nas - Where Y'all At
10.) Ginuwine - What's So Different?

So only one gay one - not too bad.

Christopher said...

But Gorillaz are VERY metrosexual...that Damon Albarn is so hard to read (and ever so pretty!).