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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Cher Cares plus a surgery update from me

After testifying before Congress last week, The World's Greatest Entertainer uses her power over the gays on my boyfriend Anderson Cooper tonight. Her cause? Operation Helmet, which is pushing to spend the $71 each on our Marines to get their helmet standards up to equal those of the Army. Preview the interview video here:

Cher loves the soldiers!

Isn't it a shame that Donald Rumsfeld and the White House Monkey don't love our soldiers as much as Cher does? Isn't it a shame that those of us against this travesty of a war are accused of being against the troops when in fact they are all talk and won't even spend $71 dollars on a helmet that will save a Marine kid's life? And isn't it just freakin' bizarre that Cher knows more about military helmet safety than these damned Republican chicken hawks?





















If our beloved soldiers had this helmet, they'd all be protected.

In related news, I leave for New York City on Tuesday for what I really hope will be my final surgery. My agenda:
Monday - Mama arrives in The Ville, has allergic reaction to the cats and drywall dust, hopefully cooks dinner for her good son and son-in-law.
Tuesday - I knock Mama out with a sedative to get her on the first flight of her life. We land in NYC, take the Shuttle Death Ride to our apartment I've reserved on the Upper West Side, and take a walk to Central Park.
Wednesday - I check into the hospital, get put under (the state in which I'm the nicest), and what is left of the venous malformation in my face gets injected with with a solution to harden it. I wake up that afternoon with my head swollen to the size of a beachball.
Thursday - My peepee aches from the catheter they left in, but fortunately they put me under again. They are supposed to remove the now hardened VM from my cheek, reshape my mouth, lift up my eye, and perhaps do a bit of laser work on me. I wake up that afternoon, demand my laptop to check my e-mail, and promptly hit the morphine pump to go back to sleep.
Friday - I hope I check out of the hospital this day. Maybe I will, maybe not. I will spend the next several days popping Vicodin and steroids to control the swelling, and being generally disagreeable.
Monday - Appointment with my doc in the morning, catch the Death Shuttle to LaGuardia, and hit The Ville to be back with the Craiggers that evening.

How is this related news? Well, you know Cher has done quite a lot for kids with facial deformities. There is even a picture of her in my doctor's office with one of his patients. What I want to know is why none of you have contacted her, told her how fabulous I am, and arranged for her to make a visit to me? I have a facial deformity AND I'm a gay...she would LOVE me! I'm all her peeps rolled into one! I think you had all best get to work on that, don't you?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cher also loves her some C-Span and Lou Dobbs according to The Daily Show.

Christopher said...

Who doesn't? Well, I don't really love Lou Dobbs, but she can't always be right. After all, she was a fan of Ross Perot and his Keebler Elf campaign the first time around.

JonboySF said...

And don't forget her extended romance with Gene Simmons of KISS fame...what was up with that??!!

Ms. Val said...

What I want to know is why none of you have contacted her, told her how fabulous I am, and arranged for her to make a visit to me? I have a facial deformity AND I'm a gay...she would LOVE me! I'm all her peeps rolled into one! I think you had all best get to work on that, don't you?

Oh, Christopher, I'm so sorry! If I could turn back time....

Christopher said...

Ba-dum-bum! She's here all week folks! Try the veal!

Ms. Val said...

Thank You! I go on last. By then, the audience should be drunk enough to actually think I'm funny!

Becky said...

Good luck with the trip to NYC. I hope all goes well!!