I started this blog to chronicle my surgical journey to normality. Notice that I haven't written in a week? That's because yet again, little change. So, I've been depressed off and on, off when I was doing something fun like visiting with my friend Chuck, on when getting dressed in the morning. Week 5 ends as of Friday, leaving me one more week before my swelling is supposed to be gone for the most part. I don't see it happening.

The thing is, I can't help but wonder if there is something I should be doing to help myself heal. Should I be icing my face down? Should I sleep on my back with lots of pillows under my head? Am I drinking too much? In all honesty, I know the answer to that question...I drink too much regardless of swelling. The stress of my job, plus quitting smoking, trying to get into school, and planning for this surgery made me drink to relax instead of socially like I used to do. It can't possibly be good for the swelling, not to mention for this weight issue I'm having, so I may have a few on the weekend in a social setting, but for a good long while, for my own good, any other drinking is out. I don't think I have a problem, but drinking to de-stress is probably not the best judgment call.

Of course, if I still look like this come Friday, I'm liable to go get good and hammered!

So, now I need to be in denial of my issues and discuss some silly things:

1.
I used to think that the reason Hermione is my fave Harry Potter character is that like her, I was a wee bit of an annoying know-it-all as a child (thank goodness I grew out of that...shut up, all of you!). Now I know the true reason: http://butterbeer.ytmnd.com/. Oh wait, there is my drinking issue again!
2.
In a sign of pending apocalypse, Anna Nicole Smith appeared before the U.S. Supreme Court. One can almost feel Justice Ginsberg's boobie envy from here. As if that isn't strange enough, she may be the woman to set precedent for federal control over probate law. When asked how she felt about her potential shining moment in legal history, she responded, "TrimSpa baby!" before passing out in a pool of her own vomit. Oops, excessive use of substances issues, and weight issues to boot. Let's try again.

3.
I was going to make a comment about the impending alien invasion, but I realized between the fucked-up surgery and gay sex (at least the gay sex her husband is having), showing Star means I just pretty much covered all my psychological issues bases. As it turns out, celebrities really are just like us.

So, while I'm poking at my cheek marveling at how stiff it still is and thinking to myself that it MUST be swelling and not tumor because the tumor couldn't possibly be that stiff, I will leave you with a picture of a face even more stiff than mine...

It takes some hardcore Elvis money to pay for that much botox.