Slave to Love

Today is the five-year anniversary of my relationship with Craig. My attention span is such that, aside from elementary school, I have never done anything for five years, and the idea that anyone could tolerate me for that long is simply amazing to me. I bitch and moan about Craig to my friends often, complaining that he can be so irresponsible with money and never does anything around the house unless I stomp up and down and scream. Today I would like to note why I am with him. Craig has an amazing capacity for not judging people for their very obvious personality flaws. Let's face it, I am not an easy person to live with, and yet most of my craziness seems to just roll right past him. My husband is kind, loving, and patient, and accepts people for who they are. That is why despite the fact that we have our issues at times, he is and will always be the great love of my life.

Awwwwww! You aren't used to me being sweet, are you? I didn't think so, that's why I'm going to share a short funny story today as well in honor of our anniversary. Craig and I are together for one reason: I am a manipulative bee-yatch. That's right, I manipulated Craig into falling in love with me. When I moved away from New Mexico in 2000, I drove my Uhaul to the casa of Dirty Debbey, who was kindly putting a roof over my head while I got my stuff together. The night I pulled up to her apartment, Craig was sitting at her kitchen table, making him the very first person I met when I moved to The Ville. I met him a few more times after that and developed a bit of a crush, so I had Debra plant the idea of a date with him (actually, she was kind of working both of us, which is why every year on our anniversary, she gets flowers). Then, just to make him think I'm a considerate guy, when I heard he was home sick with a horrible cold, I showed up on his doorstep with a gift bag filled with cough drops, candy, movie magazines, and porn. Nothing says "date me!" like a copy of "Powertool 2". A few more gestures like that and the first date was soon had. The poor boy didn't stand a chance!

And for the record, we broke virtually every rule of building a long-term relationship, yet we are still together. We slept together on the first date, moved in together after dating for less than five months, keep our finances completely separate, have our own individual social circles, etc. The moral of this story is, if you have a first date tonight on Valentine's Day, feel free to behave like a tramp...you just might find the love of your life too.