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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Mama, just killed a song

I tend to go on a bit on my American Idol wrap-ups, so this week, I'm going to give you the low-down in one word for each person.

Ryan: Faggoty-assed
Bucky: Atrocious
Ace: Ridiculous
Kellie: Nauseating
Chris: Sigh! (but Simon was totally right on...he really can’t pick a song to save his life)
Camryn Manheim: Unemployed
Katherine’s mom: Milf
Katherine: I do have to comment on this one. She was pretty good, and she looked stunning. But I am quite hesitant to vote for her for the simple fact that she would clearly love nothing more than to be Celine Dion. It is bad enough that we let the original into the country. Do we have to produce one of our own? Isn't George Bush enough to inflict upon the world?
Paula: Buzzed, but not in the bag yet.
Elliot: Good, but should have been better. That arrangement needed work. He should have blown that song out of the water.
Taylor: Spastic. You know he had to wear a crash helmet as a child.
Paris: WOW!!!!! You know she did an incredible job because you only noticed that bad wig for the first 15 seconds. Of course, as soon as she stops singing, you can’t help but wonder if Jerry Springer ever did a show about midget transsexuals.

Well, I made it 20 minutes in on my attempt at brevity, not bad for me. And since I've given up on being short and sweet, I should point out that maybe Kellie really is stupid. She’d have to be in order to think she could pull off "Bohemian Rhapsody". Hey Kellie, if you just killed one man, would you please come over here, kill me, and put me out of my misery?

2 comments:

Ms. Val said...

Nope, not a Freddie Mercury in the bunch. But then, there will never be. Again. Anywhere.

Tonight's show has me wanting to go over to Amazon and buy the Queen box set. We used to own a copy of Greatest Hits, but Big Daddy loaned it to his boss while they were on a business trip. Well, Boss ended up leaving the CD in the rental car. He "replaced" it with a burnt copy, and BD didn't have the cajones to deem that unacceptable.

Christopher said...

Why on earth would they make these pop kids attempt to sing Queen? This has been the worst season yet in terms of the choice of songs, and the themes the producers choose are not helping matters at all.

After all you've been through lately, I think your Big Daddy owes you a CD!