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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Team Witherspoon!



As I'm sure you've all heard by now, Hollywood cutie couple Reese Witherspoon and What's-His-Name have split, reportedly because he couldn't keep it in his pants for his Oscar-winning wife. In this election season, we at Trading Faces would like to give our most enthusiastic endorsement to Team Witherspoon in this race.

Sadly, as California is a community property state, that rat-boy is going to get half of everything, and that's a lot since she's currently the highest-paid actress in Hollywood. We are confident, however, that as he deserves he is going to get all the itching/burning sensations "down there" that he could ever want. That and a lifetime of bit parts on movies made for the Hallmark Channel. Way to blow it, horndog!

6 comments:

JonboySF said...

Hey, go easy on my future husband! Living with that Barbie-with-her-face-squished-in Southern Belle primadonna can't be easy. That "little girl from Tennessee" act is wearing really thin. It takes two to tango if you know what I mean and while I'm sorry they are breaking up I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for little ole her!!

Christopher said...

Well, when you marry him, all I can say is that I hope you wear a condom, because I'm taking his voodoo doll right now and rubbing it against a photo of Paris Hilton in hopes that he'll get a raging case of the herp! You cannot cheat on an Oscar winner and get away with it (unless of course it is Helen Hunt, who was obviously a mistake).

JonboySF said...

I think Helen Hunt's middle name is Mistake...lol.

Ms. Val said...

Hey, ease up on Helen!!!! She was on Knots Landing!!!! True, she was relegated to the role of one of Diana's icky teenage friends, but still...

Mother Jones RN said...

I hope his dick falls off. Sorry, I can't people who cheat. And if What's-His-Name cheated on Reese, I'll cheat on his next wife, too.

MJ

Bedazzler said...

Well...if you ARE going to have a role model for law school this is the one I guess...speaking of role models, you should check out Oink Grrr, Tom's blog. He's also been valiantly trying to save Whitney for some time now.