There's a long-standing practice in pop music where pop tarts of varying talent re-record big hits in a bid to boost their own profile. This especially seems to be true for singers who do not write their own material, and who are faced with a shortage of hits to record. The assumption, of course, is that if it was a hit once, throw on a few synth riffs and it will be a hit again. Often they are right, but the results can be tragic as we'll see in this edition of The Weekly Cheese.
Bananarama & Lananeeneenoonoo, "Help!"
Brit comedy team French & Saunders used their act to parody Bananarama (then the biggest music group in the UK) and their cheesy dance routines, shirtless male dancers, and studio produced vocals. They called themselves Lananeeneenoonoo. Anyway, the Bananas thought it was so funny, they collaborated with the comedians on this cover of the Beatles classic. At least it was for charity.
Paulina Rubio, "I Was Made For Loving You"
I put this one in just to annoy Val. In her quest for a crossover hit, Paulina covered this Kiss song on her English-language debut. I hated the original version, but this hot mess is like nails across a chalkboard.
Samantha Fox, "I Only Wanna Be With You"
Those of you who know me well know of my Dusty Springfield obsession. Rumor has it that Dusty liked this version of her first 60's solo hit. I think it would give an Osmond a cavity. The trash can theme in the video is no coincidence if you ask me.
Kylie Minogue, "The Locomotion"
You know it hurts me to post this. She was young, and both Little Eva and I forgive her.
Britney Spears, "I Love Rock and Roll"
I wonder if she had to show her bacon flaps to Joan Jett to get permission for this travesty. At least she doesn't show them to us here.
And sometimes, very seldomly, a goddess gets it right and shows the others how it is done.
Well played, Cher.