Pre-order Bananarama

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

They tried to make me go to rehab

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer took her to check into Promises spa, I mean "rehabilitation" facility after her arrest for DUI on Saturday. That's the same place where Brit Brit stayed after shaving her head, so I'm sure this will totally be successful. All I'm saying is that if I'm going $80,000 into law school debt to spend my career taking spoiled panty-free rich girls to fake rehab, I'm quitting now while I'm ahead. Who needs an education for that? I could probably just say "subject matter jurisdiction" around those girls every few sentences, and they would just assume I'm a lawyer anyway.

I'm waiting for the inevitable day trips out to Fred Segal and The Ivy during Lohan's "recovery." I saw that the last time she was in rehab, and I wondered whatever happened to the good old days when your oil baron spouse could take you to rehab where they lock your crazy ass up until you resort to selling your pearls to a creepy orderly for a mouthwash bottle full of bathtub gin? At this rate, Lindsay is never going to get to see Southfork again.

1 comment:

Ms. Val said...

There's nothing uglier than a woman who can't handle her liquor!