The Project

I am oh so thrilled that the greatest reality show ever, "Project Runway," is back, but I have refrained from blogging about it at this point because I do know that these things tend to get the best of me. So, I won't be commenting on the fact that Laura and Michael totally won the challenge for that wack-a-doo in her bubble skirts, the talent-free Angela. Nor will I comment on Cheater Keith and the many ways he cheated while maintaining flawless skin. I'm not even going to say a word about the fact that the show bans pattern-making books, but as Bradley showed once again, they don't ban pot. However, my resolve to resist making commentary dissipated when I saw what Heidi chose to wear while standing in judgment of others. If I had been boring sportswear girl, I would have gotten up in her Teutonic mug and been all, "Miss thing, I know you don't think you're gonna come up in my grill in your polyester pantaloons and talk smack about my clothes! I will beat a ho down!" Or that's what I would have said were I a strong black woman.

Oh, and I soooooo wanted Daniel Vosovic from last season to pop up when they started stealing each other's models to do a big gay inhale and shout, "IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING WALK-OFF!!!!!" I need that as my ringtone, because my life is a walk-off, y'all!